Frequently asked questions — Endless Possibilities

Your frequently asked questions
answered by me

What is an addiction?

Addiction is most commonly associated with drugs (including alcohol), nicotine and gambling, but you can be addicted to pretty much anything! It is the inability to stop taking a drug, for example, or doing something even though it's causing the person psychological and/or physical harm.

The most common symptoms of an addiction are mood swings, paranoia and lack of concentration. You might notice yourself, or someone you know, being secretive, getting agitated or, quite simply, overdoing it with a substance or multiple substances.

How do I get clean and sober?

Getting clean and sober is the relatively easy bit. It’s staying clean and sober that takes the work, but with the right support and a strong, positive mindset - anything is possible. You need to change everything that needs changing. Change where you go, who you see, what you do - because if you don’t, you might not stay abstinent for long. If you were using substances to escape reality, then you need to change your reality so it doesn’t need escaping. If you get clean and the rest of your life hasn't changed enough, then everything that caused you to use in the first place will still be there, and it’ll only be a matter of time before you pick up again.

But don't worry - you’re not alone. There are loads of people in the same position as you and there is lots of help out there. Don’t try and do it by yourself when you don’t have to. Surround yourself with good people, reach out to your GP and local drug and alcohol service, try 12 Step meetings such as Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous. If the spiritual 12 Step program isn’t your thing, don’t worry, because you might prefer SMART Recovery which is science-based therapy.

The best thing to do? Try everything and see what works best for you. You might like a little bit of SMART and a little bit of NA and a little bit of your own tailor-made approach. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to recovery and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are all different with different journeys. Embrace the change, reach out for help, and enjoy your recovery.

What if someone is in denial?

Frustrating, isn't it? I was there once. In fact, I was there for a very long time! I used to say things like:

“I’m not that bad”
“I’ve got it under control”
“I can stop anytime I like”

Denial is one of the biggest obstacles to getting out of addiction and into recovery. The addict must come to the realisation themselves in order to start getting better. Something may trigger that such as a relationship break-up, a mental breakdown or loss of a job, either way, they need to break free of this denial if they are to move forward.

The best things to get rid of denial are rehab, support groups and counselling. For me, just speaking to like-minded people was key to changing my mind. Hearing other people talk about their problems made me feel less alone and realise I needed to change. Even well into treatment I still had a bit of denial in me. Up until a week or two into my stay at rehab, I was convinced I could have a drink when I came back out because “my drinking was never that bad!”

Do I have to go to rehab to get clean and sober?

No! There’s plenty of people that do it without any kind of treatment. Don’t get me wrong, going to rehab is the most effective way of treating addiction, but it’s not the only way. Surround yourself with good people, make a plan and stick to it, go to meetings, get counselling, plenty of self-care, write your thoughts and feelings down, meditate, find some hobbies, learn a language or an instrument - do whatever works for you!

Will I ever be able to drink/use again?

The simple answer? No. Not successfully anyway...

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but let’s take drinking for example. When I went to the pub every Friday, I had the intention of having ‘a few’ and going home. It never worked. Once I started I just couldn’t stop. Does this sound familiar? Because if it does, why would things be different in the future? The reality is - they probably wouldn’t!

As an addict, recovering addict, ex-addict, or however you want to identify, we just can’t stop once we start. There’s an old saying in 12 Step meetings “one is too many and a thousand never enough” and this is so true. For me it’s all or nothing. But if you are doing recovery right, then there shouldn’t be any reason to want a drink or drug again (not for any length of time anyway). Embrace the change and enjoy learning about yourself with a clear head and clear conscience.

How do I get into rehab?

If you can afford it, then private treatment is straightforward. Standard treatment is usually 28 days and the price varies from rehab to rehab - make sure you shop around!

Funded treatment takes longer to access. This differs all over the country depending on funding and availability. Your best bet is to speak to your GP and local drug and alcohol service for more information.

How do I cope with triggers/urges/cravings?

You’ll always have to deal with these - it’s just one of the downsides to taking drugs in the first place! But they don’t have to be that bad…

I always compare my recovery to giving up smoking cigarettes. Unfortunately, there are going to be moments when you think “I could murder a cigarette!” just like “I could murder a drink/drug!” but is it really that bad? Remember it’s just a feeling and these feelings will pass. Like it says in the SMART handbook, cravings are uncomfortable but they are not unbearable. As time goes on, they will become fewer and fewer (just like when someone gives up smoking) but there are always ways to deal with them. Have a snack, replace your unhealthy addiction with a healthy activity, play a game, exercise - there’s loads of alternatives to lapsing/relapsing! I highly recommend the SMART handbook for tools to change the way you think/react. (You can find the link to SMART at the bottom of this page.)

The most important thing to do when it’s getting too much, is to reach out. Talk to someone in your support network. They could be a family member, a friend or someone from a meeting - just pick up the phone and talk. When there isn’t anyone available, there are plenty of helplines out there and usually a meeting going on somewhere in the world online.

For me, writing is my best form of therapy when I’m really struggling. I pick up a pen and paper and as I write, I can feel my problems fall from my shoulders and onto the notepad in front of me - give it a go!

Advice for loved ones

Do not give the addict anymore money! You may think you are helping the situation but you are not. You are only giving more money to the drug dealers, pub owners, shops etc.

The best thing you can do is to reach out to DrugFAM - you can find the link at the bottom of this page. They are an amazing charity who specialise in supporting those affected by someone’s addiction.

There are also groups such as Al-Anon UK, Adfam and many more. Always reach out because you are not alone.

Do I do 12 Steps or SMART Recovery?

The two most popular approaches to recovery are the 12 Step Program and SMART. They are both very different but have one thing in common - they both want you to get clean and sober. It doesn’t matter which one you choose to follow (or none at all!) because as long as you are clean, sober and happy then that’s all that matters.

Try both!

You will always get people on either side claiming that their way is the ‘right’ way, but remember that everyone is different and what might work for some, might not work for others. As long as you are being completely honest with yourself and do what’s best for you - that’s the most important thing.

All I can say is, try lots of meetings, both face-to-face and online, see what you like, and attend every meeting with an open mind. If you’re more scientifically-orientated, don’t be scared of the spiritual 12 Step Program and vice versa.

Me personally?

I attended 12 Step meetings and didn’t like them, but they were essential for my early recovery. I needed to be around like-minded people and just having something to do in the evenings was vital for me! After six months I stopped attending Narcotics Anonymous. I knew I didn’t need them and so I left.

I then tried SMART Recovery. I bought the handbook, which has some brilliant tools inside to learn, and I attended a few online meetings. Again, I didn’t particularly enjoy the meetings and, although I preferred them to NA ones, I stopped attending.

I work my own tailor-made program that I make up as I go along. It’s full of self-care and stuff I’ve picked up from both the 12 Step program and SMART Recovery.